


Where Else Would I Get a View Like This?

by aponderingcharming



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, EITHER WAY THEY'RE SOULMATES, F/M, Mutual Pining, maybe mutual pining, platonic or romantic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:48:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23951065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aponderingcharming/pseuds/aponderingcharming
Summary: Post-Age of Ultron. Steve feels like he needs to let Natasha know that he's there for her.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov
Comments: 4
Kudos: 74





	Where Else Would I Get a View Like This?

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Been re-watching the Marvel films in order and have somehow found myself falling in love with these two, so I wrote this really quickly because I needed to get something out of my system! Hope you enjoy :)

Steve had been watching her for hours now. Outside of training the team and getting them up to speed on how things worked around here, she hadn’t said a word – and Nat liked to comment. Bruce disappearing weighed heavily on her every movement, her limbs that little clunkier than usual, the snap of her skills a little soft, and he noticed how the light that once danced in her eyes began to dim. As the day dragged on, Steve could almost literally see her walls coming back up and entrapping her in her own fortress of protection once again.

He wanted to help.

Natasha had been a friend to him. Someone that he trusted. Someone that he cared for.

So when he found her up late, looking out over the star-filled yet empty training grounds, he made a decision.

“Couldn’t sleep either, huh?” he posed quietly, sidling up alongside her, resting his arms on the metal rail.

The woman glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, a small, sad smile forming on her lips.

“Never been good at sleeping, actually. Always on alert. One of the downfalls of being in the spy business.”

They stayed in silence for a few moments, comfortable in each other’s presence. Steve noted that it always felt like that when he was with her; familiar, normal. _Safe_ , he even mused internally.

It was a beautiful night. There was a stillness about the way the stars just hung there in their place, keeping watch over everything below, keeping watch over them.

Finally, “I’m sorry about Bruce.”

Her shoulders stiffened.

“Yeah, well…” she took a short pause to look down, “I don’t even know…” she cut off, swallowing hard.

“You deserve to be happy, Natasha,” Steve interjected for her, wanting her to know that _he_ understood. “It’s not wrong to want things. It’s the most natural thing in the world.”

She let that settle between them and he took that as a good sign. He wasn’t sure how many times, if ever, someone had said that to her. But it was true, and she should know that.

“So do you,” she whispered eventually, this time making sure to look at him. Sincerity coloured her words and he inhaled deeply, allowing himself to soak in her words, too, letting them flow into the parts of him that needed to hear that.

“You know, ever since I was a kid-”

“You mean like 100 years ago?” she jested, a tad brighter.

He smirked and rolled his eyes. “Yeah like 100 years ago,” he joked back fondly. “But all I ever wanted to do was to be a soldier. End injustice, bring peace, help make the world a safer, better place for everyone. But I always saw an end to it, you know? We’d win the war, I’d come home, get married, have a family, grow old. I mean, I knew there was always a chance that I might not make it out alive, but deep in the back of my mind was this longing to have a life after the war. I’d do my part and then I’d settle down.”

“With Peggy?” Natasha asked in a quiet voice. She was looking at him intently now, eyes only on his.

Steve nodded. “Yeah, if she would have me,” he tagged on with a short laugh.

“How could she not? You’re like the perfect gentleman, Steve. The solider with a heart of gold.”

“Ah, I don’t know about that.”

“I do. I’ve known that since our first mission together. Trust me; she would have been all yours.”

He couldn’t help but smile but sadness weighted his heart. That future with Peggy was all gone now, and as much as he saw a life after war before, now it felt like war was an inevitable part of him, and that whole other part of his life didn’t exist anymore. This was his life now.

But maybe he was okay with that. Making the world a better, safer place was why he was made after all. Maybe this was his greater plan.

“Yeah, well...turns out I missed the boat on that one. She was happy though,” he said, breaking his gaze to watch the night sky again. “Lived a good life.”

Slowly, Natasha’s hand reached over to cup his upper arm, just briefly. “I’m sorry, Steve. Sometimes it’s easy to forget what you’ve lost because we get so wrapped up in everything else that’s going on.”

“Thank you,” he replied. “But we’ve all lost things. Everyone here, each Avenger, has a reason to do what they’re doing and it all stems from some experience, some loss, or longing. I suppose it helps us focus, it spurs us on. I know not everyone is vocal about it though,” his words became softer now, “and Nat I want you to know that you can trust me, okay? When we’re out in the field, there’s no one I trust more than you, and no one I would rather have fighting alongside me than you, so if you ever need to talk, I’m here.”

For maybe the second time in all the time he had known her, he could see tears shining in her eyes and she moved just that little bit away from him as if to protect herself again.

“Peggy was in my vision,” he offered, opening up more, willing her to know that she could trust him. “We were at a celebration, the war was over and we had won. She told me that we could go home. We danced, and then everyone was gone and I was left alone.” Pausing, he set his jaw and closed his eyes just for a breath of a second. “The vision showed me what life I could have had and then showed me that that life wasn’t attainable anymore. That everyone was gone and I was still left fighting a war.”

The air grew heavy between them, the truth and honesty huddling around them. It was as if they were somewhere else entirely, in a whole other realm where it was just the two of them. He waited, sensing the emotional wrestle within her body, knowing that she was struggling. Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything; maybe it was wrong to add another level to their relationship, but she had lost something today and he had learned of a part of her he didn’t know existed – the part of her that ached for a sense of home. And, boy, could he relate to that.

“I was back in Russia in my vision. At my final graduation,” she finally ground out, her voice thick. “And just being there it…it made me remember the kind of person I was. I spent years trying to run away from it all and live differently – better - and all of sudden, with a flick of a wrist, I’m brought back to that place, and all I can think about is how….how I’m a monster. That I’m a machine built for one purpose and one purpose only: to kill. And that’s all I’m good for.”

“You’re not a monster, Nat. So far from it.”

The words shot out of him before he even knew they were forming on his lips.

“Yeah, well you don’t know everything I’ve done, Rogers.”

“I don’t need to know.”

She snorted and then sniffed, tears escaping.

“No seriously,” Steve continued, this time leaning down so that she could see his face. “Natasha I’m not going to pretend that I know everything about you or your past or what you’ve done, but I do know you. I know who you are now. Are you highly skilled and a formidable opponent to anyone who gets in your path? Yeah, absolutely. You’re one of the best, if not _the_ best fighter I’ve seen. There’s a reason you’re on this team. You don’t need super serum running through your veins to make you someone.” That drew a smile from her and his heart warmed knowing that he put it there. “But I also know that you’ve dedicated to your life to fighting for those who can’t fight for themselves. You joined SHIELD because you wanted to make an actual difference and to put a stop to those who do the things that were done to you. That doesn’t sound like a monster to me. Almost sounds like a hero, don’t you think?”

Another beat of silence.

Another sniff.

And then, “No wonder they call you Captain America,” she mused, voice still a little deeper than usual. “That was some speech.”

“Glad you liked it. But I meant it. Every word.”

The woman straightened now and turned her frame so that they were face-to-face. A gradual and tentative hand came up to rest on the side of his face, and Steve noted how he leaned just that little bit more into the touch. “Thank you, Steve. For everything. I don’t say it a lot and I don’t express it very well but-”

“Anytime,” he interjected.

Natasha moved to kiss his other cheek, her lips warm and soft. It was quick but it was tender. “Same goes for you, too.”

When she broke away, he tried to ignore the pang of disappointment. It was as though a spell had been broken and part of him wanted to reach out and pull her in for a hug, but he didn’t want to ruin the moment.

“Well, I guess I better try to get some sleep,” she announced, her body that bit looser now and the grin that formed on her mouth was definitely more like the Nat he knew. “Goodnight Steve.”

He smiled in response. “Goodnight.”

“Oh and don’t tell anyone about this, okay?” she said playfully with a wink as she was leaving.

Steve shoved his hands into his pockets and fixed his smile on the ground, nodding in agreement. “About what?” he teased back, pulling a laugh from her.

He stayed there for a few minutes longer, feeling the lightest he had felt since the mission had ended.

He hoped she felt the same way.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading, hope you liked it (and I hope they were in character lol)!


End file.
